The Year Has Begun!

I probably should have written this last week, but I'm officially a "Mainly Stay At Home Mom"!  The Day Job is over and while I do have a new job, it takes up significantly less time and I'm not on-call all the time.  Which means I work during work time and that is it!  No more overwhelming balancing act.  I'm sure I'll still have days when I feel like I'm spinning plates, but in just this last week I've felt so much better. 

This really is a wonderful change for our family.

I'm not saying things are perfect - they aren't.  But they are better.

The year has begun!

(I can't believe that I only have one year left before Huck is in kindergarten!  Clearly, it is time to slow down and savor the moments.)

Foot paint

We were having a bit of a rough morning today.  Noodle had a pee-pee accident in MY LAP.  She was much more upset about it than I was.  She kept saying "Oh no!  I pee-pee on my mommy!" I decided that some painting would cheer us all up.

I planned to cover a section of the kitchen in trash bags and then hang up paper for paint.  Paint which I planned to put on a tray so we could use our FINGERS.

Huck had other ideas. 

As I was hanging up the paper he poured the paint onto the floor and Noodle immediately started using her feet.  We just went with it.  It was washable finger paints so I figured even if they made a huge mess I could clean it pretty easily.  And they did make a pretty good mess!

Afterwards I picked them up and took them right to the tub!  Everything, including the kids cleaned up really easily. Whew!

(Noodle was already sans clothing from the pee-pee accident - which was probably good since she managed to get paint all over her!)

Confession: Today wasn't good

Today was a big reminder about how much I need to give up the day job and just be mom.  Or just one who works only when the kids are at preschool.  I spent most of the day with the kids on my lap where they watched a show in the left corner of the computer screen while I attempted to work on the right side.  They fought over who had more lap space and when I made them both get off my lap I kept having to shush them "Mommy needs to finish this email and then she'll get you a snack....turn on a new show...be your helper when you go potty."

"Mommy is working, we will play when I'm done."

I'm done in 8 more days.  It can not come soon enough.

This used to work.  It worked for 4 years.  Now it just isn't.  I'm not doing my best at work and I'm certainly not giving the kids what they deserve at home.

Yesterday was just such a totally different day that the stark contrast to today is just disheartening.

Yesterday I only checked in on work twice - both times when the kids were happy and playing with out me.  The entirety of our day was great yesterday, Noodle even went to sleep a full 30 min earlier than her normal early and nearly 2 hours before her 'late' - and she's been mainly late to sleep for the past 3 months.  Yesterday was wonderful - today not so much.

Today I'm short tempered.  Today there were no crafts - not even the ones I set out to do last night before going to bed.  Today there was yelling, and then worse - that moment when I just check out, when my eyes glaze over as I look at the mess and  I want to run away from home or just hide in my closet for a little while.

Even now, I could (and should) go play with them.  But the mood is set and all I can do is count the minutes until Husband comes home and I can actually go hide in my closet for a little while.

I feel pulled apart and frazzled.  Realizing I've been living like this for years - for those wonderful early years of my children's lives - makes me sad. 

Next week.  Next week the new normal begins and I'm so, so thankful.

Countdown to The Year: 8

Start of a new school year

Today was Huck's first day of preschool. It was also the first day of Mommy at home schedule. It was great. I felt productive and relaxed for the first time in way too long. Noodle and I enjoyed some one on one time - something that we've never really had. I'm looking forward to much more time with her in the coming months.

I still have a little over a week with the day job but not so much that it is keeping me away from the kiddos like it used to.

I'm so looking forward to September and being Mommy at Home full time!

Huck is ready for school!

Feels like heaven.

I'm sitting outside in jeans and a long sleeve shirt in July watching my kids ride trikes, fly a kite and just enjoy being kids. Feels like heaven.

My main away from home job will officially be over one month from today. I'm getting more and more excited about being able to dedicate my attention more fully to them soon. 

The Boy will have preschool 3 days a week and The Girl will be going to PDO at least one day a week while I work at my little job. But no more feeling like I'm always on the job. 

This summer they have grown up so much it almost hurts. The Girl is now 100% potty trained and although she is only 26 months old she has gotten into the habit of telling people she is 3!  They believe her too because she acts so old. I'd be sadder if she wasn't so much fun to be around.  Really she is a dream. 

The Boy keeps us on our toes. He's so smart and if we don't channel his energy things can meltdown quickly. Today the kite was the winner. 

I love them and am so thankful for today.

Huck using his "lookers" and Noodle on a mission!

COUNTDOWN TO THE YEAR: 30 days

What do they say about making plans?

“If you want to make God laugh, tell him about your plans.” Woody Allen

Yup.  I made plans.  Plans to have a relaxed summer of winding down work.  Then not working after that.  Well, working very hard, but not having an external job.  I made that plan.

Then the world had other plans.

I got offered a job. A really great job.  One that I couldn't pass up.

So I didn't.

Now I'm working two jobs - three really.

I'm trying not to be overwhelmed.  In the end this is going to be good for our family even if is wasn't part of my plan.

This summer is going to be extra busy, but I think by the fall everything will level out.
I hope so at least.

Hoping - NOT planning.

Here that world?!  NOT A PLAN.

Please don't start laughing again...

Trial run

Today was the first day of our summer schedule. We have a morning activity planned almost every day. If it isn't a library story time it is a trip to the YMCA. The goal is to be out if the house doing something by 9 everyday.

Today was our test day. 

Library story time, lunch, playtime, quiet time/naps, painting, then a walk with friends and back to make dinner. It was a busy day but it was great!

Seriously. Today is giving me hope that I'll be able to do this stay at home mom thing. 

I'm do thankful for this opportunity to be with my wonderful children. 

Test run = success!

Countdown to the Year: 84